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Perl Humour

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This is a collection of links and resources to Perl Humour.

Contents

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On CPAN

Most of Perl's amusing modules can be found in the Acme name space. The following are a mere fraction of the available modules, there are many more.

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Acme

Acme.pm is a base class for perfect modules. If you sub-class this module when creating your own, it'll be both perfect and spiffy.

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Acme::Enc

Acme::Enc allows you to encrypt your source code so other's can't read it. This really does encrypt your source code, but it's still trivial to unencrypt it, so don't use this to protect "valuable" code.

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Acme::EyeDrops

Turn your ugly Perl code into beautiful pictures and UML diagrams!

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Acme::Colour

Mix colours in Perl! red + yellow = orange!

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On this site...

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Perl Poetry

Perl is such an expressive language that it's even possible to write poetry in it; as has happened since Larry Wall wrote the first Perl poem in 1990. A collection of Perl poems can be found in perlmonk's poetry section. Here's a description of the history of Perl poetry.

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Quotes

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Random Quotations

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Template Toolkit's Spam

Many people received spam with various template toolkit fields instead of actual headers and content. Here are links to some of their blog entries about it. (Why can't spammers make sure they unit-test their spamming scripts?)

  • ladypine's blog entry about TT Spam
  • Robert Price's Blog
  • Note: there also was an entry about it on O'ReillyNet, by one of the authors of a book that talked about it. Google cannot find it, though. Fill it in if you can.
  • Note: there was also a use.perl.org/ blog entry about it. However, I couldn't find it with google. Fill it in if you can.
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Perl Bits

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On use.perl.org

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chromatic

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rhesa

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Ovid

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From IRC

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Books for Learning Perl 

    <Alexi5>   what is a good book for getting up to speed with  perl?
    <merlyn>   learning perl!
    <merlyn>   intermediate perl!
   <nachos_>   the camel is the _only book_
   <nachos_>   :-P
           *   merlyn bats nachos silly
   <nachos_>   :-(
   <rindolf>   Alexi5: there's also Beginning Perl, which is available 
               online.
           *   f00li5h saw that coming
   <rindolf>   You should learn Perl from "Learning Perl in 24 minutes 
               Unleashed!"
   <f00li5h>   rindolf: "Learning perl in 24 minutes Unleashed, in a 
               nutshell for dummies" is the one i have
   <rindolf>   f00li5h: that's even better.

From Freenode's #perl.

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Timezone'd 

     <x86>  can someone tell me what this epoch translates to in
            %Y-%m-%d format? 1202256000
<integral>  eval: POSIX::strftime("%Y-%m-%d", gmtime(1202256000))
  <buubot>  integral: 2008-02-06
     <x86>  nice!
<integral>  note that if you're not specifying timezone you're in for a
            world of hate
<integral>  err, *pain
    <iank>  s/pain/butter/
    <iank>  I will dump butter on you unless you specify tz.
    <iank>  Also if you do specify tz.
    <iank>  Fuck it, I will dump butter on you, fullstop.
<integral>  don't waste good butter on them, try margarine

From Freenode's #perl.

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CPAN is your Friend (or Enemy) 

           <x86>  gah
           <x86>  DateTime::Format::Strptime is not one of the core
                  modules
          <iank>  boo hoo cpan it
       <apeiron>  "i (can't|don't want to) use external modules"
          <iank>  (If only we had some sort of comprehensive archive
                  network.. for perl stuff.. complete with a convenient
                  tool you could use to easily fetch, build, and
                  install modules!)
          <iank>  apeiron: "oh, but you're a dumbass"
          <iank>  "carry on then"
<simcop2387-lab>  iank! i know i'll call it Ruby on Rails!
      <integral>  well, it'd be different if CPAN and CPANPLUS really
                  were convenient.
           <x86>  POSIX::strptime is not a core module either
           <x86>  this sucks
       <apeiron>  Send patches or shut up. :)
          <iank>  CPAN IS VERY FUCKING CONVENIENT DO YOU WANT ME TO
                  PUNCH YOU IN THE SPLEEN
      <integral>  apt-get : cpan :: brilliant : annoying
          <iank>  this : pretentious and awkward :: 1 : 1
           <x86>  iank: not so conveinent when you're writing software
                  to be deployed on 100 servers and you dont want to
                  have to install the same module 100 times
      <integral>  bundle it with your app.
          <iank>  x86: stop failing at sysadmining
          <iank>  Or that.
      <integral>  They're also pure-perl so this is very, very trivial.
      <integral>  We have PARs which are jsut like Java's JARs for even
                  more deployability win
          <iank>  woohoo
           <mst>  and people have this retarded obsession with only
                  using core
           <mst>  I mean, anybody who does perl for a living grows out
                  of it pretty fucking fast
           <mst>  but there's always colossal whining the first time
                  you tell someone to get something from CPAN
      <integral>  But due to my last point, PAR isn't as well known as
                  it should be
           <mst>  x86: thanks for being today's example :)

From Freenode's #perl

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How much Perl do you need 

     <shishirm1>  is pop3 module avaliable only in perl 5?
      <jernster>  are you saying you use something other than 5?
          <icke>  perl 4 didn't even have modules
      <jernster>  heh
       <rindolf>  shishirm1: do you want to use it with Perl 4?
     <shishirm1>  oh ok sorry i am comlete nooob!! so i am just asking
                  you guys
     <shishirm1>  nope is perl 5 a standard now?
      <jernster>  yes
     <shishirm1>  ok great...
      <jernster>  :)
       <rindolf>  shishirm1: Perl 4 is unmaintained, unloved,
                  deprecated, not recommended, and dead - D. E. D. -
                  DEAD!
<simcop2387-lap>  perl 4 is an EXPERL!
<simcop2387-lap>  all statements that perl4 is a going concern are thus
                  inoperative.

From Freenode's #perl

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PHP, Perl and the meaning of "my" 

<milardovich>  with strict it say me this:
<milardovich>  Global symbol "$lorem" requires explicit package name at
               split.pl line 3.
    <rindolf>  milardovich: use "my $lorem = "
    <rindolf>  milardovich: my is your friend.
    <rindolf>  pun not intended.
    <rindolf>  my is my friend.
        <dwu>  Preferably with a real value after "= " ^.^
    <rindolf>  dwu: he already has that.
<milardovich>  that works with my rindolf
<milardovich>  thaks you!!!
    <rindolf>  milardovich: you're welcome.
<milardovich>  :)
     <ubajas>  I wish I had a rindolf too. :-\
<milardovich>  people here are "nicer" than on #php :P
    <rindolf>  ubajas: I'm mass-produced at Chines sweat-shops.
     <ubajas>  hehe
    <rindolf>  ubajas: they sell me for 30 bucks a piece.
    <rindolf>  milardovich: I've heard some horrible stories about
               ##php.
<milardovich>  perl rulz x)
    <rindolf>  milardovich: what brings you to Perl?
 <simcop2387>  rindolf: #php apparantly
    <rindolf>  simcop2387: heh.
    <rindolf>  simcop2387++
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Cartoons

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Images

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Videos

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Perl 6

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Chuck Norris and Perl 6 

    <rindolf>  wankit
     <buubot>  Perl 6, unlike most people, is able to breathe in the
               vacuum of space. In fact, anything else would damage its
               respiratory system. Because of this, whenever it's
               visiting Earth, it wears a respirator, which resembles a
               kickass beard.
    <rindolf>  Heh heh.
    <rindolf>  Are all of buubot's wankit factoids about Perl 6?
    <rindolf>  He should have some about Chuck Norris, too.
     <merlyn>  fictional factoids about a partially designed, partially
               implemented, partially wanted language. :)
    <rindolf>  merlyn: yeah.
     <merlyn>  Heh - those are all Chuck Norris quotes with s/Chuck/P6/
<dabreegster>  rindolf: It's written in Chuck Norris, right
     <merlyn>  Chuck Norris writes code in Perl 6. Before Larry's done.
               And it works.
    <rindolf>  merlyn: Chuck Norris wrote Perl 6 in a day but then
               destroyed all evidence with his bare hands, so no one
               will know his secrets.

   -- FreeNode's #perl.
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Chuck Norris as a Pugs Committer 

    <rindolf>  ajs: perhaps Chuck Norris would be a useful addition to
               the Pugs and Parrot teams.
        <ajs>  rindolf: If Norris can write, give him a commit bit, and
               tie him to a keyboard ;)
 <FurnaceBoy>  I thought he already had commit
      <daxim>  Chuck Norris commits with a roundhouse kick into the SVN
               server's head
            *  FurnaceBoy chuckles
        <ajs>  daxim: If you can get that to pass the test suite, then
               more power to you!
 <FurnaceBoy>  Chuck *is* the test suite
    <Kattana>  chuck norris does not code, when he sits at a
               computer, it just does whatever he wants.
    <rindolf>  Kattana: :-)
      <daxim>  ah, we're easy to amuse
        <ajs>  Be the test suite, Chuck... BE the test suite.
 <FurnaceBoy>  you gotta pass 'make chuck'
 
   Chuck Norris Perlsixifies at FreeNode's #perl6 channel.
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Perl 6 and Vapourware 

  <anonuser>  You know for when they finally decide to release that
              programatic abortion they call perl 6
   <rindolf>  anonuser: on Christmas.
   <rindolf>  anonuser: don't know which one.
   <rindolf>  anonuser: you can download pugs and play with it.
  <anonuser>  rindolf, The running joke I have with friends is
              that Duke Nukem Forever (DNF) is being written in Perl6
   <rindolf>  anonuser: it's an old joke.
  <anonuser>  rindolf, DNF and Perl6 together is an old joke?
   <rindolf>  anonuser: yeah.
   <rindolf>  anonuser: "Perl 6 is the language Duke Nukem Forever will
              be written in."
   <rindolf>  Well, it's not too old, but it's a meme.
<Aji-Dahaka>  rindolf: I'm the guy who's going to port DNF from
              GNU/Hurd to FreeBSD

From Freenode's ##freebsd.

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Perl 10 

    <ubajas>  Technically, my first language was Turbo Pascal, but I
              started over with Perl 10 years later (not having
              programmed in the meantime). I'm obviously damaged goods.
      <iank>  ubajas: heh, I read that as "I started with (perl 10)
              (years later)" instead of "I started with perl (10 years
              later)" :)
   <rindolf>  Perl 10!
   <rindolf>  Perl for the Fourth Millenium.
  <jagerman>  I thought Perl 6 was supposed to be timeless
    <ubajas>  iank: Maybe I should have added a comma. :-]
  <jagerman>  Perl ∞
      <iank>  perl6 has existed since the beginning of time, or at
              least it will have existed since then once $Larry finds a
              time machine.
<simcop2387>  iank: i'm sorry but larry is the prophet i am the
              messanger! i will be the one to take it back!
      <iank>  WHAT.
<simcop2387>  iank: its MY TIME MACHINE!
           *  iank smacks simcop2387 around
  <jagerman>  iank: So it'll be like that Star Trek episode, where they
              say that the development of computers are caused by time
              travel from the future?
  <jagerman>  Except that they were too stupid (like most Voyager
              writers) to get their facts right, and thought computers
              started in the 70s

From Freenode's #perl.

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